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Have you ever played with the children’s toy, The Chinese Finger Trap?

It’s a woven wire mesh-type device that allows you to put your pointer fingers in both ends but when you try to pull them off in separate ways, it tightens and prevents you from removing any finger.

This is a great example of how we deal with our real-life problems/struggles.

The harder you try to escape from your problems, the worse it gets.

Rather than forcibly pulling away from your problems, or trying to overdo the things that you do to solve it, this only makes it harder for you to get past it because the more you do something to solve it, the more it clings to you.

Sometimes you’d feel a slight relief, but at the end of the day, it still remains the same.

You’re still stuck.

Here’s a thought experiment –

Think of an uncomfortable experience. It could be something that deals with pain, grief, anxiety, work-related stress, or a break up with a lover.

When you overthink this situation, it’s one’s default to find a way to get out of the pit.

When you are in pain, you tend to drink pain relievers to relieve it. Slight relief for a few hours. But did it really take your pain away?

When you are grieving, you bury your head in your pillow and cry about it for hours. What a relief to release the heavy tears. But when you do it again, does it feel less heavy now?

When you are anxious, or experiencing work-related stress, you overdo yourself by working more hours, being critical with yourself. But did it give you a sense of satisfaction with your outcome or career?

When you break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend, you find yourself clinging to your ex, instead of letting go. But did it make your situation better?

But literally, how can you really get out of this finger trap?

Rather than pulling away, you have to push your fingers inward to create bigger holes on both ends, giving you a loose end which would allow you to remove your fingers with ease.

But how do you apply it with life?

It’s very easy.


Don’t overthink it.


Give yourself some time.

Embrace your stuckness.

Accept that you are in that situation and just know that you’ll be soon over it. Surrender to the current reality, then trust that everything will work out by taking aligned action daily that feels good.

Slowly embrace your situation, then you’ll be given more room to move and breathe, to strategically think and to free yourself from your problems.

Embody your Mastery is here to guide you and help you go through with whatever that you’re currently experiencing right now. Visit our website at www.embodyyourmastery.com.

Archana Reddy
Archana Reddy
Archana is an intuitive transformational facilitator for corporate leaders, entrepreneurs, and visionaries of color who helps them fast track their life and business results through inner mastery. She has been in corporate leadership roles in the pharmaceutical industry and in the government and has simultaneously been on the spiritual/self-development path for many decades. She has worked with 100’s of healers and a dozen coaches over the past 15 years and is passionate about issues of social justice/equity and women/children’s empowerment. She worked with Aboriginal women as a grad student in public health at Columbia and is a co-author of Turning Point Moments published in June 2022. Her podcast Embody Your Mastery TM captures the experience of leaders of color. http://www.embodyyourmastery.com/


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