Respect your mother.
Maybe your father or grandparents said this to you as a child. Think of the woman in your life who you respect the most. Maybe it’s your wife, mother, a long-lost lover, or an inspiring female athlete or entrepreneur. You probably recognize her devotion, ambition, her caring nature, intuition, soft features, selflessness or willingness to listen and love you unconditionally no matter how many times you’ve messed up.
You probably don’t pay nearly as much gratitude for her fury or ferociousness, or her unique ability to gracefully (or not as gracefully) destroy that which might harm her family, business, or anything which disrespects her.
Sometimes she scares you. You may even call her ‘crazy’. That’s because we are indoctrinated to slice and personify women into parts of a whole, particularly the parts that can serve whatever the moment requires. Mothers are perhaps best at this constant role play, wearing many hats to meet everyone where they are in how she can best serve them – her children, husband, parents-in-law, or boss.
But what if what the moment requires is outside the realm of ‘a part of a whole.’ What if what the moment requires is to shatter the illusion that women can play an important ‘part’? What if we let go completely of the false duality that women should only be respected if they earn this respect by playing the role(s) set out by the Husband, the Father, and the Children.
Can a woman who is so simple in her beauty also be incredibly complex? Can a woman who embodies a dutiful feminine essence also be trusted in her righteous rage? Can a woman who leads with her heart also lead with her womb?
Owning Your Shakti
Shakti is considered the female power and life force of the entire universe. This sacred energy nourishes men and creates equilibrium, so that focus, discipline, and harmonious polarity can emerge from divine union, whether in procreation or co-creation. Shakti is personified in the Goddess Kali.
In modern society, this embodiment of the ‘wild woman’ Kali is often seen as incorrigible, undesirable, or ill-natured – something to manage, handle, or suppress. But this version of the story is shaped by, well…men. Almost all of our spiritual stories are reflections of centuries of authors, philosophers, politicians, and religious leaders who were primarily men.
Some men perceive the ‘wild woman’ as monstrous, or even dangerous, because she is equally as frightening as awe-inspiring. Her wholeness embodies a destructive side as much as a benevolent one, and she is the vessel for all creation in a way that is not pretty, controllable, or comfortable for many (Merelli, 2020). She is neither singular nor shallow. Her true beauty is not actually her heart but her heart’s ability to filter all of your untruths, rip off your masks of deception, and expose you to realms of an exponentially higher consciousness of creation, originating from the wisdom of her womb.
Her heart is a tunnel of pure white light through which her darker womb energy is crystallized. It’s relatively easy to adore her heart. It’s a bit more challenging to unpack and consider how ‘heart-centered leadership’ is still a product of the patriarchy. It is the patriarchy which has masterfully woven the stories of their favorite mothers, sisters, and daughters to be careful with their hearts in their relation to men. Fewer, but some conversations urge men to also be cautious with a woman’s heart.
The gap and the missing link is that for a ‘good man’ to indulge ‘gracefully and graciously’ with the heart can sometimes be patronizing. It lends itself to reduced female autonomy. There is a cognitive dissonance in mass understanding that the fragility of the heart is integrally protected by the feminine essence herself, via the explosivity of her womb. But when do we teach our sons (and daughters) how to honor the formidable strength and relentless power of the womb?
Who is the Primordial Mother?
It starts with deep listening and meditation to reconcile conflicting ideas of the divine feminine in all her nuance and complexity. This leads to becoming sharply attuned to her gifts and aligning with rather than retreating from her as a true force of nature, with an unwavering devotion all her wild aspects being worthy expressions of femininity.
For guidance, I suggest we return to the original Hindu conception of the sacred primordial mother, Adi Parashakti, from whom Kali was born. The Divine Mother is a concept in yogic philosophy that refers to the primal creator of the universe. She is the ultimate mother, or the sacred spark of all life – responsible for the creation of the earth and all its flora and fauna, without being reduced to the role of a mother. Consider this definition:
“The goddess was the universal soul, who accepted plant, animal, and human matter in death in order to create new life from the remains. [As the divine creator, she] was mirrored in each woman’s body; she was linked to the changing seasons, the behaviors of the animals that early people hunted, and the various observable cosmological patterns. The cycles of nature were reflected in the cycles of the female body, such as menstruation, pregnancy, birth, and lactation. This anatomical emphasis may have linked [her] biological functions with other observable processes in nature, such as animal reproduction, the growth and flowering of plants, or the cycles of the moon.
The five elements are only Her tools for fashioning the universe and obey Her will. She is never restricted to the physical universe alone, but instead remains fully detached yet intrinsically involved [in a] baffling secret which only She knows how to implement. She is pure and changeless, transcendent and genderless, permeating everything with limitless Consciousness…whose nature is non-dual Truth and omnipresence. Her mere will creates and preserves this Universe. Those who are very intelligent should always worship Her in various ways and determine thoroughly the reality of Her by every means” (Author Unknown).
Radical Surrender to the Woman
In the Hindu stories, the Gods who are born from her Shakti life force are actually useless without her. It sounds a bit harsh, actually, but is it that much different than the heavenly Father of the Judeo-Christian religions? Where would we source Christ-Consciousness if it weren’t for the virgin Mother Mary?
I want you to read that one again. The Gods who are born from Adi Parashakti’s life force are useless without her.
Can you imagine droves of men admitting so boldly to this universal Truth. What if every ‘women’s leadership initiative’, every ‘empowerment program’, and every coach who is helping women unlearn their ‘good girl conditioning’ paused for a moment. If everyone on the planet stopped preparing women to be their best selves in a male dominated world and instead prepared men to be their best selves in a world where women are already all powerful creatures here to provide universal perfection. Could we collectively invite men to do the things that are significantly harder than ‘supporting,’ ‘empowering,’ ‘giving a voice’ or even giving us financial resources? That is to just let us be as we are, and to do as we say to please and pleasure us with the supreme and meditative knowing that a pleased Goddess is the answer to all abundance and peace on Earth.
Conscious men, and all men, please start speaking the Truth of our power out loud with us. We want you here with us, we really do. Thank you for doing your best so far to support, finance, and empower us to lead with our hearts. We’re now inviting you to trust that we are already leading with the intelligence of our wombs. By transitioning your support to surrender, your masculinity will loyally benefit from our precise intuitive direction. Your attunement to our vibration is key to unlocking your inner God the Father.
Then, and only then, we might let you lead us right back in infinite universal Love.