As a child, my doctor explained that I had to wear glasses due to my lack of vision. He said they would help me see better. But, I wondered if wearing glasses would truly make a difference in my life. I struggled with feeling that my moderate blindness was holding me back from being my true self.
As I grew up in the suburbs and later moved to the city, I found that my love for art was small, like the circles and designs in my sketchbook. The trains, schools, parks, and theaters in the suburbs held no interest for me.
My vision seemed to only show me the same picture everywhere I looked, roads, trees, bugs, people and grass. I had many questions for myself: Who am I? How am I supposed to use these glasses? How am I supposed to work with them?
Many years went by, and I always outgrew my glasses. But, I started to question if I could outgrow my neighborhood as well. I wanted to use my vision for better purposes. I had something to do with this tool, but I didn’t know what it was. My father told me I had a gift, but I couldn’t see it. I moved to the city and things turned out to be even more difficult. I felt like the girl with glasses and no voice. I only imagined the possibilities of changing my appearance, behavior, and intelligence.
Years went by and I had completed many trials and errors. One hot summer day, I felt stuck. I didn’t know what to do. I no longer wanted to create peace of mind, I wanted to understand myself. I researched ways to bring my ideas to reality without feeling disabled. And then it happened, I came up with a better idea: showing gratitude for myself. I would wear new clothes, vintage clothing, old clothing, and accessories, and change hairstyles to show more of my ego- I am incredibly talented.
I continued this cycle for years until I realized it was comfortable to be me and my glasses were in fashion. However, I felt like I was meant for something greater than just being comfortable. I wanted to help others with their style. I was not completely confident in this idea but knew it was more important than just being okay with myself.
I finally dared to change because of my fears and anxiety. I knew it was right in front of me. My eyes were lenses, ready for challenges. I had to pull up my bootstraps and acknowledge that I had to do this for my future self and for future young, black, disabled, and able children. I wanted to show them that they don’t have to walk in fear because of their weaknesses. I made that my reason to stand tall with confidence by wearing my glasses proudly and happily.
That young me told the older me then that there is nothing holding you back but fear; fear of being different. I did the opposite, one step at a time. I went out every chance I had to encourage myself to make a story through my lens. I made it clear from my vision to be aware that I am stronger than I think because I am.
I studied and strengthened my writing skills for all walks of life, from young to old. I have shown that I know how to manifest, and I lead by loving what I do. I want to inspire others to see their own strengths and abilities through their own lenses.
