I’m hooked on Yellowstone.
I am not alone. More than 12 million people watched the Season 5 premier of Yellowstone in November 2022. For reference, The Walking Dead Premiere had 5.5 million viewers in the same month.
Yellowstone is not only a phenomena, but one character in particular is also a phenomena.
Beth Dutton, the daughter of John Dutton is perhaps one of the best female characters since Alexis Colby played by Joan Collins in the original Dynasty.
Yellowstone’s Facebook Fan page has thousands and thousands of comments from both men and women stating their adoration, including:
“I wish I could be like her.
“I want her as my best friend.
“Best female character ever!”
So, why are we cheering for “the bitch” that is Beth Dutton?
She is the woman after all, who threatened to kill her brother, smashed a beer bottle over a woman’s head after she hit on Beth’s husband, Rip, and she is clearly an alcoholic, and likely a rage-a-holic too.
It’s perhaps that most of us women have spent most of our life denying our own “bitch” qualities, or at least the qualities our culture says make women a bitch:
- Demanding
- Ambitious
- Sexual
- Intelligent
- Beautiful.
- Outspoken.
- Ruthless.
Speaking for myself I have attempted to therapize these qualities in myself away by becoming “even-tempered” which really means bland as fuck and anesthetized on “anxiety meds”.
I have tried to spiritualize them away by becoming more “Goddess-like” or demurring which really meant becoming wall-to-wall carpeting and polluting the power of my own desire, magnetism and joy.
I tried to “lightworker” them away by doing gratitude rituals and pretending I did not have a large appetite for life and all its “attachments” include money, sex and a Mercedes Benz.
I allowed my inner critic to judge me as “greedy” or “too much” when really it was passion and the orgasmic pulse of Life weaving more into the world THROUGH me.
I allowed myself to water down my fire because I did not want to be a BITCH.
The strange and wondrous paradox and delight is that when I let go of “the nice girl façade”, my business skyrocketed, my relationship with my husband deepened, I let go of resentment and insecurity, became a best-selling author and sought-after speaker.
Oh, the irony!
My big mouth and bitchy-ness are what brought me the very things I desired most!
I don’t think you have to be conniving to be successful, but you do have to be HONEST with yourself about WHO you REALLY are and what you REALLY want.
And perhaps, it really does pay in every way to embrace the Inner Bitch, just a little at least.
Are you willing?
Ask yourself:
- Is there an aspect of myself that I am ashamed of, and attempt to hide or destroy? For many women it is their sexual self, their intelligence, their anger and rage, or their outspoken-ness. These are still qualities that women use against each other, and misogynists use to reduce women as “hysterical”.
- What do you fear will happen if you embrace this part? We are hyper-social beings. There is a primal part of your brain and biology that is wired to “fit in”, so we fear rejection. In fact, current neuroscience research says we will choose group acceptance over individual expression to the point of death. That is insane! So, we have to really get present to the fear and conditioning, and realize this is a part of an ancient brain, and not true today.
- Choose what is actually meaningful for you! I have no interest in bar brawls or shouting matches, but I am also not willing to pretend I am stupid, quiet or don’t have an opinion. So I choose to express myself as eloquently as possible now, and not hold back. I am also not ashamed of sensuality, desire and sassy self, but I am mindful of meaningful expressions. So often women go from never saying a thing to shouting and burning it all down. It does not have to be that way. What is one “bitch” thing you can meaningfully express with style?
Cheering on the honest, alluring, and clear range of expression for women (and men), and grateful that mainstream media is finally creating a space for The Bitch.
