When I think of this word; I think of a sudden and intense understanding of a profound secret the universe has been withholding. A truth that will set me free, bring wealth or increase happiness for myself and others. The truth is though, awakenings happen continuously through our lives. Bringing short bursts of newfound strength and wisdom over time. I believe the awakenings happen after identifying a negative belief, examining it and inviting change.
I’ll tell you about my most recent awakening that actually led me to landing here; in this magazine! It happened to me a few short weeks before this publication (and only a few days ago as I write this article)!
There I was, over the past years; a fearful onlooker trying to be noticed by influential people in my community. The thing is, at the time I was suffering from chronic imposter syndrome. I believe; we all suffer from this at some point in every phase of growth and we always will. It must be a part of the formula for success…..anyway!
The big problem was that I had absolutely no self-confidence; yet I wanted to change the lives of people that were suffering. I wanted to be the voice of strength for those that could not fathom success. I desperately wanted to affect positive change in the people of my family, our community and across the planet! That meant that I had to understand and acknowledge that I had a gift of compassion and empathy that the world needed, which forced me to dive deep into the actual trauma that caused me to feel inadequate in order to overcome my fear of myself.
Suffice it to say that I experienced significant trauma at the hands of the many alcoholics that existed in my world. Abuse of every form inflicted by people I trusted most; emotional, mental, physical, verbal and sexual. The fall out from this abuse was evidenced in my own alcoholism that kept me in chains for an unbelievable 27 years!
When I was finally able to conquer the alcohol addiction and work through the anguish from the scars of my childhood; I felt a calling from within my soul that I could not define. But I was plagued by anger and shame that I carried for the people that hurt me as a child.
Then, as if by chance, something amazing happened…
I chose to forgive my childhood abusers and seek out understanding about owning one’s emotional weakness and accepting that our uniqueness actually is what makes us desirable! I started attending Tony Robbins seminars and took coaching courses from Grant Cardone. I immersed myself in Russel Brunson’s world and sought out learning from influential people! I learned leadership and entrepreneurial skills. I began to have confidence in my abilities and started to understand that all I dream to aspire to be is within my grasp! But something was missing! Do you see it? It’s right here in this paragraph…. the women are missing.
I asked myself; WHY DON’T I HAVE ANY FEMALE ROLE MODELS?
Luckily the universe had a favor to offer me! You see, my banking representative was impressed by my empathy and compassion for my employees as well as my ability to overcome loss in business during the Covid pandemic. (I lost 98% of my business, 20 of 21 employees and wound up without a home for 3 months) and came back to rebuild my business stronger than ever to 7 figures within 2 years! So, he nominated me for the RBC Women of Influence awards and while I didn’t place as a finalist, I did place 472 out of 10,000 women! I was invited to the awards gala in Toronto, Canada and absolutely said yes! I wanted to be in the room with these women!
Instantly it became crystal clear that I would fit in with women of influence and could feel at home. I walked into the awards gala wearing the most expensive evening gown I have ever purchased, having treated myself to hair and makeup specialists; I was filled with confidence; I fit in! For the first time in my life, I felt I could finally accept the compliments and believe the positive things the people I admire were saying to me.
So, what next?
How could I keep momentum going during this awakening? My plan was to start putting myself “out there” on social media. I started liking and commenting on content of the people I admired most but felt “out of their league”. But I didn’t stop there. I started doing interviews for podcasts. I was interviewed on the radio with an audience of 2 million listeners! And I began to out myself as an expert in my field of online coaching on Facebook, Instagram and TikTok.
I faced my fear of rejection and reached out to a woman that I desperately wanted to work with; Rhonda Swan. I was intimidated at first. This woman and her colleagues are everything I thought I wasn’t. They are elegant, dress nicely, hair and makeup is perfect…always! The confidence they exude is inspirational. I began to learn everything I could about this lady and her “women gone wild” and began to realize that they are just like me! Did you catch that? I didn’t feel that I was just like them, I felt that they were “JUST LIKE ME”!
Immediately upon reading Rhonda’s childhood story, I finally understood that we really are all the same; it’s just that some of us are meant to inspire through leadership, while welcoming others as they show up. Being there as they follow their path to awakening! I joined her group of inspiring women and am on a mission to own my true reason.
Whatever might be; I absolutely cannot wait to find out how this awakening will shape the ones of the future. I am sure, I am already headed down the road to the next awakening!
